stormyexistence (
stormyexistence) wrote2018-09-02 10:50 am
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Entry tags:
Flinch
PAIRING: Sakumoto
GENRE: Slice of life
RATING: R
SUMMARY: Ever since he was small Jun has tried to make himself as inconspicuous as possible. Hiding himself in plain sight works for him until he meets Sho, who is determined to see the real Jun.
1.
“Speccy-fouuuur-eyes, speccy-fouuuuur-eyes.”
The group of children chanted as they formed a ring around the small boy. He flinched and covered his ears in an attempt to evade their taunts, trying to make himself the smallest possible target.
Jun had begged his parents to buy him the expensively trendy children’s frames displayed prominently in the window of their local optometrist to no avail. His mother had murmured worriedly to the staff behind the glossy counter who had then brought forward a dusty box from the back of the shop. The box contained a selection of discontinued frames at a fraction of the price. Most of the frames were far too large for Jun’s small round face, engulfing him and obscuring his features. But finally a pair was found which, although large, fit him well enough for his mother to agree to their purchase. Thy were square and large and the ugly brown plastic and wire frames appeared sturdy enough to withstand rough treatment.
The improvement in Jun’s vision was instantaneous, as was his drop in the hierarchy at school. It was impossible for his parents to understand; Jun was only eight years after all. They thought that children of that age were unconcerned about appearances. Jun soon discovered that this was not so.
“Bug!”
“He looks like a bug!”
“Bug boy!”
In an attempt to escape the taunts, Jun tried removing the hated eyewear and sitting in class without them. But as soon as the teacher asked him to read from the board Jun realized that he was unable to make out a single word. The board seemed to be covered in a blurry squiggle and Jun’s cheeks reddened as he stumbled over his words. Instead of ceasing the teasing, Jun’s stuttered and fumbling speech only exposed him to a whole new level of torture.
By the time Junior High came around Jun’s glasses were less ugly but his soul and self-confidence were so scarred by then that he believed that he did not even deserve the friendship which had so far been denied to him.
2.
Brushing his bangs further down over his forehead Jun hunched down over his textbook. For once he was almost happy to wear his glasses. Puberty had been cruel and his face was peppered with acne which made his skin painfully angry and red. Between his long hair and the heavy frames of his glasses he managed to disguise the worst of the ravages on his greasy skin. He tapped impatiently on the desk with the top of his pen and tried to make sense of the algebraic formula which swam incomprehensibly in front of his eyes.
“Need some help with that?”
Jun pushed his glasses up his nose and blinked at the speaker. Sakurai Sho, the most popular boy in school and one year older than Jun, was standing there in his crisp shirt and pristine blazer. Jun managed to open his mouth but as much as he tried, it was impossible to produce a coherent sound.
“Are you okay? Your cheeks are flushed. Do you want me to take you to the nurse's office?” Sho’s round, dark eyes focused intently on Jun’s face, causing Jun to curl back into himself.
Hastily gathering up his books, Jun clambered up out of his seat, shoving everything haphazardly into his bag. “Um...fine...I...I’m f-fine.”
Filled with dread and the need to escape, Jun practically shoved Sho out his way as he rushed to the door. He could almost taste freedom, and then Jun’s feet tangled themselves together and the floor rose up to meet his face. Jun’s black-rimmed glasses flew off and skidded across the floor. Sho’s hasty attempt to help resulted in his foot landing on the frame, snapping the glasses cleanly in half in the middle of the nose piece.
“Oh no!” Jun was blindly scrabbling his hands across the floor, searching for the two halves of his glasses by touch alone.
“I’m so sorry.” Sho picked up the broken glasses and taped them together using some thick tape from the dispenser sitting on the corner of the teacher’s desk. “Please let me buy you a new pair.”
“No, no please forget about it,” Jun mumbled as he shoved his glasses back on and willed himself to disappear.
“I can’t forget about it,” Sho replied in a tone which brooked no argument. “And I am going to tutor you in maths as well. I’m friends with your classmate Nino and he told me that you’ve been struggling this year. That’s why I came to see you.”
It was impossible for Jun to believe that someone wanted to help him even if Sho was friends with the only person who showed Jun any kindness. “Why? Aren’t you afraid that I will damage your reputation?”
Sho felt a strange sensation in his chest at the hurt in Jun’s eyes as he spat out the words. Jun was like an injured wild animal, lashing out to disguise his fear and weakness. “Woah, Nino told me that you were a prickly one. To be perfectly honest I don’t care about my reputation and I certainly didn’t ask for it.”
“Nino talked to you about me?”
“Please don’t be angry with him. He was worried about you.”
Anger was definitely not the emotion Jun was feeling right then. Whenever Nino, who somehow deliberately sat next to Jun in every class, spoke to him, Jun usually responded with grunts, fearing the teasing which never came.
Pushing his broken glasses further up his nose in a calming gesture, Jun looked Sho in the eyes for the first time. “Nino is your friend?”
Sho nodded. “And he would be your friend too, if you would only let him.”
“I think I would like that.”
3.
Nino sighed and flopped bonelessly down onto the sofa, rolling around on his back and making exaggerated whining noises. “How long is this going to taaaake? You look great. Let’s goooo.”
“But Sho-san will be there,” Jun called out from his tiny bathroom, which closely resembled a closet with running water.
“Well since this is his party, it would be a problem if he wasn’t.” Nino heaved himself up and headed to the bathroom, intending to haul Jun out by the hair, if necessary.
Jun was standing in front of the mirror and styling his hair. He brushed it forwards, down to his eyebrows and then slid his glasses on. The combination of bangs and large round frames, managed to obscure most of his face, which was exactly the look he was going for.
“What do you think you’re doing, mister?” Nino pounced, batting Jun’s hands away as he brushed the thick dark hair back off Jun’s forehead and securing it with a small clip.
“Nino, quit it.” Jun tugged the clip out and dragged the hair forwards once more.
“No. You quit it. Stop hiding yourself.” This time Nino squirted gel onto his hands and slicked Jun’s hair back. “See? Look at how good you look.”
Jun blushed and tried to avoid his reflection, but Nino was stronger than he looked, holding Jun’s head in place until Jun finally met his own eyes in the mirror. Jun’s light brown eyes widened in disbelief, as he gazed in confusion at the high cheekbones and strong facial features reflected back at him. Although the round glasses did much to still disguise his face, the real Jun was undeniably visible for all to see.
“I think that Sho deserves to see this, don’t you?” Nino stood beside Jun and straightened the collar of Jun’s pale blue shirt.
“But I’m not ready…”
“Jun, Sho turns twenty today. I’m sure that he is more than ready for a demonstration of your feelings, and you showing him your true self is a very good start.”
Ignoring the terror reflected in his eyes, Jun breathed deeply and straightened his spine. The thought of a pair of dark eyes spurred him on to gather his courage.
4.
“Happy birthday Jun.” Sho’s lips met Jun’s in a soft kiss. Jun closed his eyes, silently humming with pleasure.
The birthday party organized by Nino to celebrate Jun turning twenty, had begun quietly before descending into chaos as Nino’s childhood friend Aiba had turned up dressed as a magician. The outfit was as far as Aiba’s skills stretched; each one of his tricks had failed spectacularly. This was exactly as Nino had planned, of course. The laughter had noticeably relaxed Jun, who had stopped worrying about his looks and begun mingling with the guests. And even more importantly, Jun was seen to be leaning comfortably on Sho’s shoulder, in full view of everyone.
Despite the hubbub surrounding them, Jun only had eyes for Sho, who decided to kiss him once again. Sho’s nose clashed against Jun’s glasses, leaving a smear on the ultrathin lens. Jun blinked at Sho dazedly, as his head threatened to float away like one of the balloons tethered in the corners of the room.
“Let me clean that,” Sho offered as he pulled a pristine handkerchief out of his pocket. He took hold of the thick side arms of the small rectangular glasses and carefully slid them from Jun’s nose.
Jun blinked rapidly and hunched his shoulders. He felt like a snail without its shell and equally as vulnerable.
“You really are beautiful,” Sho breathed in admiration, barely resisting the urge to touch the long lashes which Jun’s fluttering lids revealed.
For the first time Jun almost believed him.
5.
Sho moved closer making Jun blink and swallow nervously. As Jun's glasses came off the world dissolved into soft focus, leaving him in a blurry cocoon with Sho.
“Are you quite sure that you want this? Want me?” Sho breathed the words against Jun’s neck, leaving that patch of skin warmer than the rest.
Although Jun’s heart was beating a frenzied tattoo against the wall of his chest he nodded and replied, “I’m sure. I want to feel you.”
“You can trust me. I want to make your first time special.”
“And it isn't your first time too?” Jun asked with more courage than usual.
Sho had the good grace to blush slightly in return. “Well, yes, it is. I just wanted to put you at ease.”
The fuzzy dreamlike nature of Jun’s view of the world without his glasses made him answer without over thinking. “Then take me.”
++
Jun sighed as strong teeth nibbled along the margins of his jaw line. The world around him was unclear, but his feelings resonated deep within as if made from the finest crystal. The only thing sharply in focus was Sho’s face, close to his, gazing at him with love and tenderness as he coaxed Jun’s body to open for him. Jun’s glasses were abandoned on the bedside table, seemingly along with Jun’s inhibitions, as he moaned and writhed underneath Sho. As his body was breached for the first time, he resisted the urge to flinch away and hide. Sho’s strength and surety became his own, as their bodies became as one.
++
Afterwards as the sweat cooled on his skin and his breathing gradually returned to normal, Jun brushed his unruly hair out of his eyes and wormed his way closer to Sho’s chest. Although the sheet slipped off his body and exposed his naked and flushed skin, he no longer had any reason to hide from himself, or from the world.
GENRE: Slice of life
RATING: R
SUMMARY: Ever since he was small Jun has tried to make himself as inconspicuous as possible. Hiding himself in plain sight works for him until he meets Sho, who is determined to see the real Jun.
1.
“Speccy-fouuuur-eyes, speccy-fouuuuur-eyes.”
The group of children chanted as they formed a ring around the small boy. He flinched and covered his ears in an attempt to evade their taunts, trying to make himself the smallest possible target.
Jun had begged his parents to buy him the expensively trendy children’s frames displayed prominently in the window of their local optometrist to no avail. His mother had murmured worriedly to the staff behind the glossy counter who had then brought forward a dusty box from the back of the shop. The box contained a selection of discontinued frames at a fraction of the price. Most of the frames were far too large for Jun’s small round face, engulfing him and obscuring his features. But finally a pair was found which, although large, fit him well enough for his mother to agree to their purchase. Thy were square and large and the ugly brown plastic and wire frames appeared sturdy enough to withstand rough treatment.
The improvement in Jun’s vision was instantaneous, as was his drop in the hierarchy at school. It was impossible for his parents to understand; Jun was only eight years after all. They thought that children of that age were unconcerned about appearances. Jun soon discovered that this was not so.
“Bug!”
“He looks like a bug!”
“Bug boy!”
In an attempt to escape the taunts, Jun tried removing the hated eyewear and sitting in class without them. But as soon as the teacher asked him to read from the board Jun realized that he was unable to make out a single word. The board seemed to be covered in a blurry squiggle and Jun’s cheeks reddened as he stumbled over his words. Instead of ceasing the teasing, Jun’s stuttered and fumbling speech only exposed him to a whole new level of torture.
By the time Junior High came around Jun’s glasses were less ugly but his soul and self-confidence were so scarred by then that he believed that he did not even deserve the friendship which had so far been denied to him.
2.
Brushing his bangs further down over his forehead Jun hunched down over his textbook. For once he was almost happy to wear his glasses. Puberty had been cruel and his face was peppered with acne which made his skin painfully angry and red. Between his long hair and the heavy frames of his glasses he managed to disguise the worst of the ravages on his greasy skin. He tapped impatiently on the desk with the top of his pen and tried to make sense of the algebraic formula which swam incomprehensibly in front of his eyes.
“Need some help with that?”
Jun pushed his glasses up his nose and blinked at the speaker. Sakurai Sho, the most popular boy in school and one year older than Jun, was standing there in his crisp shirt and pristine blazer. Jun managed to open his mouth but as much as he tried, it was impossible to produce a coherent sound.
“Are you okay? Your cheeks are flushed. Do you want me to take you to the nurse's office?” Sho’s round, dark eyes focused intently on Jun’s face, causing Jun to curl back into himself.
Hastily gathering up his books, Jun clambered up out of his seat, shoving everything haphazardly into his bag. “Um...fine...I...I’m f-fine.”
Filled with dread and the need to escape, Jun practically shoved Sho out his way as he rushed to the door. He could almost taste freedom, and then Jun’s feet tangled themselves together and the floor rose up to meet his face. Jun’s black-rimmed glasses flew off and skidded across the floor. Sho’s hasty attempt to help resulted in his foot landing on the frame, snapping the glasses cleanly in half in the middle of the nose piece.
“Oh no!” Jun was blindly scrabbling his hands across the floor, searching for the two halves of his glasses by touch alone.
“I’m so sorry.” Sho picked up the broken glasses and taped them together using some thick tape from the dispenser sitting on the corner of the teacher’s desk. “Please let me buy you a new pair.”
“No, no please forget about it,” Jun mumbled as he shoved his glasses back on and willed himself to disappear.
“I can’t forget about it,” Sho replied in a tone which brooked no argument. “And I am going to tutor you in maths as well. I’m friends with your classmate Nino and he told me that you’ve been struggling this year. That’s why I came to see you.”
It was impossible for Jun to believe that someone wanted to help him even if Sho was friends with the only person who showed Jun any kindness. “Why? Aren’t you afraid that I will damage your reputation?”
Sho felt a strange sensation in his chest at the hurt in Jun’s eyes as he spat out the words. Jun was like an injured wild animal, lashing out to disguise his fear and weakness. “Woah, Nino told me that you were a prickly one. To be perfectly honest I don’t care about my reputation and I certainly didn’t ask for it.”
“Nino talked to you about me?”
“Please don’t be angry with him. He was worried about you.”
Anger was definitely not the emotion Jun was feeling right then. Whenever Nino, who somehow deliberately sat next to Jun in every class, spoke to him, Jun usually responded with grunts, fearing the teasing which never came.
Pushing his broken glasses further up his nose in a calming gesture, Jun looked Sho in the eyes for the first time. “Nino is your friend?”
Sho nodded. “And he would be your friend too, if you would only let him.”
“I think I would like that.”
3.
Nino sighed and flopped bonelessly down onto the sofa, rolling around on his back and making exaggerated whining noises. “How long is this going to taaaake? You look great. Let’s goooo.”
“But Sho-san will be there,” Jun called out from his tiny bathroom, which closely resembled a closet with running water.
“Well since this is his party, it would be a problem if he wasn’t.” Nino heaved himself up and headed to the bathroom, intending to haul Jun out by the hair, if necessary.
Jun was standing in front of the mirror and styling his hair. He brushed it forwards, down to his eyebrows and then slid his glasses on. The combination of bangs and large round frames, managed to obscure most of his face, which was exactly the look he was going for.
“What do you think you’re doing, mister?” Nino pounced, batting Jun’s hands away as he brushed the thick dark hair back off Jun’s forehead and securing it with a small clip.
“Nino, quit it.” Jun tugged the clip out and dragged the hair forwards once more.
“No. You quit it. Stop hiding yourself.” This time Nino squirted gel onto his hands and slicked Jun’s hair back. “See? Look at how good you look.”
Jun blushed and tried to avoid his reflection, but Nino was stronger than he looked, holding Jun’s head in place until Jun finally met his own eyes in the mirror. Jun’s light brown eyes widened in disbelief, as he gazed in confusion at the high cheekbones and strong facial features reflected back at him. Although the round glasses did much to still disguise his face, the real Jun was undeniably visible for all to see.
“I think that Sho deserves to see this, don’t you?” Nino stood beside Jun and straightened the collar of Jun’s pale blue shirt.
“But I’m not ready…”
“Jun, Sho turns twenty today. I’m sure that he is more than ready for a demonstration of your feelings, and you showing him your true self is a very good start.”
Ignoring the terror reflected in his eyes, Jun breathed deeply and straightened his spine. The thought of a pair of dark eyes spurred him on to gather his courage.
4.
“Happy birthday Jun.” Sho’s lips met Jun’s in a soft kiss. Jun closed his eyes, silently humming with pleasure.
The birthday party organized by Nino to celebrate Jun turning twenty, had begun quietly before descending into chaos as Nino’s childhood friend Aiba had turned up dressed as a magician. The outfit was as far as Aiba’s skills stretched; each one of his tricks had failed spectacularly. This was exactly as Nino had planned, of course. The laughter had noticeably relaxed Jun, who had stopped worrying about his looks and begun mingling with the guests. And even more importantly, Jun was seen to be leaning comfortably on Sho’s shoulder, in full view of everyone.
Despite the hubbub surrounding them, Jun only had eyes for Sho, who decided to kiss him once again. Sho’s nose clashed against Jun’s glasses, leaving a smear on the ultrathin lens. Jun blinked at Sho dazedly, as his head threatened to float away like one of the balloons tethered in the corners of the room.
“Let me clean that,” Sho offered as he pulled a pristine handkerchief out of his pocket. He took hold of the thick side arms of the small rectangular glasses and carefully slid them from Jun’s nose.
Jun blinked rapidly and hunched his shoulders. He felt like a snail without its shell and equally as vulnerable.
“You really are beautiful,” Sho breathed in admiration, barely resisting the urge to touch the long lashes which Jun’s fluttering lids revealed.
For the first time Jun almost believed him.
5.
Sho moved closer making Jun blink and swallow nervously. As Jun's glasses came off the world dissolved into soft focus, leaving him in a blurry cocoon with Sho.
“Are you quite sure that you want this? Want me?” Sho breathed the words against Jun’s neck, leaving that patch of skin warmer than the rest.
Although Jun’s heart was beating a frenzied tattoo against the wall of his chest he nodded and replied, “I’m sure. I want to feel you.”
“You can trust me. I want to make your first time special.”
“And it isn't your first time too?” Jun asked with more courage than usual.
Sho had the good grace to blush slightly in return. “Well, yes, it is. I just wanted to put you at ease.”
The fuzzy dreamlike nature of Jun’s view of the world without his glasses made him answer without over thinking. “Then take me.”
++
Jun sighed as strong teeth nibbled along the margins of his jaw line. The world around him was unclear, but his feelings resonated deep within as if made from the finest crystal. The only thing sharply in focus was Sho’s face, close to his, gazing at him with love and tenderness as he coaxed Jun’s body to open for him. Jun’s glasses were abandoned on the bedside table, seemingly along with Jun’s inhibitions, as he moaned and writhed underneath Sho. As his body was breached for the first time, he resisted the urge to flinch away and hide. Sho’s strength and surety became his own, as their bodies became as one.
++
Afterwards as the sweat cooled on his skin and his breathing gradually returned to normal, Jun brushed his unruly hair out of his eyes and wormed his way closer to Sho’s chest. Although the sheet slipped off his body and exposed his naked and flushed skin, he no longer had any reason to hide from himself, or from the world.