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TITLE: Back To Life
RATING: G
PAIRING: Matsumoto Jun / Ninomiya Kazunari
SUMMARY: Nino is worried about Jun, who hasn't been returning his calls.
NOTES: This story is set in March 2021.
As the car pulled away from the television studio, Nino checked his phone, but there was still no reply to his text to Jun.
Since the beginning of the hiatus, Jun had gone into what he declared to be a ‘temporary hibernation’, and disappeared from public view. This was understandable, since Jun had been a hollow-eyed, exhausted wreck at the end of the year.
But Nino hadn’t anticipated that Jun would disappear from his life too. He had been unprepared for it to hurt as much as it did. Used to seeing Jun virtually every day, or at least speaking to him, the loss of Jun’s companionship struck deep into his heart.
As he fiddled with his phone and started out the car window, it finally rang, sending his heart racing. But it was Aiba, and still not the person he needed to hear from the most.
“He called me,” Aiba reported with some satisfaction. “Your plan for me to taunt him on Damashii finally paid off.”
“He’s at home?” At least if he knew that, it was a place for Nino to begin.
“Yep. I invited him out for ramen and beer, but he turned me down,” Aiba replied regretfully. “He mumbled some sort of excuse about making a special chicken stock and not being able to leave the house for twenty four hours.”
“Perfect.”
“Good luck Nino. I hope you can get through to him. You two belong back together.”
“As far as I know we never actually broke up,” Nino muttered. “But thanks anyway.”
Xx
The next day, Nino’s barrage of knocks elicited no response from Jun, so he let himself in, using the key which Jun had given him in case of emergency. And if being ignored by your boyfriend for almost three months wasn’t an emergency, then Nino didn’t know what was.
“It’s only me,” he called out as he slid his feet into the fluffy yellow slippers Jun kept in the entryway for his use.
There was no reply, but Jun was definitely in there somewhere. The smell of the essential oils Jun used in his diffuser filled the apartment a musky scent. It was hard to see where he was walking though, as all of the curtains and blinds were closed, leaving him stumbling around in a gloomy half-light despite the fact that it was almost lunchtime.
There was no sign of Jun (or of the chicken stock) in the kitchen, and the spare room which Jun used as an office was empty, which left only the master bedroom. Nino gave himself a shake when he found himself walking on tiptoe and holding his breath as he approached the closed door. He was cross with himself for behaving like an intruder in a place where he had been so many times before. His relationship with Jun had always been a casual, low pressure type of one; they both valued their own space too much to ever contemplate living together. But he had spent enough nights here in Jun’s bed to feel confident that Jun would be pleased to see him.
After taking a deep breath, Nino pushed open the door. “I’m coming in.”
At least the curtains were open in this room, even if only a little. Jun, who was sitting on the floor with his back against the side of the bed, barely looked up at his unexpected guest. “I don’t remember inviting you over.”
The air in the room was stale, even with the aid of an air purifier and the diffuser. Nino strode over and pulled back the curtains, before opening the window wide enough to allow some fresh air to circulate. He dropped down onto the floor next to Jun, pressing a kiss onto the top of his head in passing. He grimaced at the greasy feel of Jun’s hair, which he suspected hadn’t been washed for several days. “Do I really need an official invitation?”
Jun self-consciously touched his hair. “No, but a little bit of advance notice would’ve been appreciated.”
Nino took a look around at the piles of clothes scattered around Jun, obscuring the luxurious deep pile of the carpet. After kicking some sweaters out of the way, Nino wriggled closer and rested his head on Jun’s shoulder. “So, what important business did I interrupt?”
“I’m trying to declutter my life,” Jun replied in a dull tone.
Nino’s stomach gave an uneasy lurch. “And am I part of that clutter? Is this your way of breaking up with me?”
As he held his breath while awaiting Jun’s reply, Nino didn’t know how he would cope if he replied in the affirmative.
“Of course not, unless you would prefer it that way.” Jun kept his eyes fixed on the felt hat that was sitting on his lap as he replied, giving nothing away to Nino. His fingers plucked nervously at the fabric, pulling small pieces of fluff off the surface.
“Don’t be stupid. You know that I love you, even when you force me to say it out loud like you did just now.” Nino tugged the hat out of Jun’s hands and pulled him around to face him. “Jun, look at me and tell me what’s wrong. I’m worried about you, and so are the others.”
“I just feel useless right now.” Jun’s voice was so quiet as to be barely audible, and he spoke in a dull monotone. “I don’t know how to do this, how to not be working twenty hours a day. While we were so busy last year, I thought it would be great to have the chance to catch up on all the little things I didn’t have time for. I had a big long list of all of the things I wanted to do, and I was excited about ticking them off. But for the first couple of weeks, all I did was sleep, and even now I sleep until almost lunchtime, watch some television and then go to bed early.”
“Let’s face it, you were, and probably still are, suffering from serious sleep deprivation. After all of the hours you put in last year, you deserve as much rest as possible. I have this mental picture of you in bed, laid out like Sleeping Beauty sleeping for an entire year. I think the dress would definitely suit you,” Nino interjected with a grin, hoping to cheer Jun up with a little teasing.
The glare which Jun gave him in reply sparked a tiny ember of hope in Nino’s chest, but was immediately extinguished by the return Jun’s eerily blank facial expression which followed.
Jun scrambled to his feet, and began stuffing the discarded clothing into collection bags from a charity shop, avoiding Nino’s eyes at all costs as he continued to speak in a voice which sounded rusty from disuse. “I feel so useless. I just sit here all day doing nothing. I can’t even remember the last time I went outside. I get dressed and pick up my keys, and sometimes I even get my shoes on. But then I think that it is too cold, or too wet, or that nobody will want to meet up with me anyway, so I take my shoes off again and go back to bed.”
It took Nino a moment to haul himself up off the floor, wincing as his back gave a twang. He touched Jun lightly on the shoulder, warning him before he pressed himself against his back and wrapped his arms tightly around Jun’s waist. “Why didn’t you say anything about this before now?”
“The three of you are all so busy with your variety shows, commercials, magazine shoots, and Sho’s new drama. I didn’t want to bother you.” Jun hid his face behind a striped sweater with frayed cuffs.
“Stupid man. None of those things are more important than you,” Nino said fiercely. “Don’t force me to tell you that I love you twice in one day; I will never live it down.”
Jun’s shoulders began to shake, and Nino feared that he was crying, but when Jun twisted around in his embrace and Nino removed the sweater which was concealing his expression, he could see that although his eyes were suspiciously shiny, he was actually laughing.
“If I’d known that’s what it takes for that to happen, then I should’ve had a meltdown years ago.”
Nino sighed with relief as Jun bestowed one of his luminous smiles on him; his favourite one which made Jun’s eyes almost disappear. “Trust you to be the only human in existence to not take pleasure in sitting around like a potato for a couple of months and do nothing. You are living my own personal dream, and then you want to go and ruin it by being busy. You seem to forget that is only temporary, and that soon filming for your movie will begin, and then you will be back on the promotional merry-go-round of magazine interviews and television guest appearances.”
“Maybe I need someone who is an expert at being a potato to show me how it’s done?”
The thought of joining Jun in his hibernation, even if only for one day, was extremely tempting. What could be better than spending time cuddling with Jun on the couch? But Nino knew that it wouldn’t help Jun to pull out of his slump. Instead, he took a deep breath and suggested something unthinkable.
“If you ever tell anyone that this was my idea, I will kill you where you stand, but let’s go outside and get some fresh air.”
Xx
Nino glanced over at Jun who was walking slowly along beside him, dragging his feet slightly. “Aren’t you glad you came with me?”
Behind his mask, hat, and dark glasses, it was hard to read Jun’s expression, but despite his nod of agreement, Jun still looked uncomfortable to be outdoors.
It had taken almost three hours before Nino had managed to get Jun out of the apartment. First Jun had insisted on taking a shower and washing his hair, followed by his complicated skin care routine and the application of sunscreen. And then he had insisted on making them lunch, which Nino hadn’t really wanted, especially since it was both vegan and gluten free, but Jun had insisted that it would be good for him. To be fair, it had been rather tasty, even though Nino knew that it was offered to him more as a delaying tactic. When Jun moved the same piece of tofu from one side of his plate to the other three times without actually putting it in his mouth, Nino snatched up both of their plates and tossed them into the dishwasher after scraping Jun’s leftovers into a container.
Jun’s fingers had trembled as he tied the laces on his shoes, leading to Nino kneeling down and tying them into firm knots for him. The tension emanating from Jun’s body had been plain, as he stepped to the door and gripped the handle. Jun’s hand felt icy as Nino placed his hand over it and gave a gentle squeeze as he swung the door open and hesitated on the threshold.
Nino only let go when they emerged into the afternoon sunshine and began their short walk to the nearest park.
“It feels like spring,” Jun said softly as he loosened the scarf he’d insisted on wearing, despite Nino’s advice. “The last time I was outside it was winter.”
Nino brushed his fingers lightly against Jun’s. “And how does it feel?”
Jun slid a finger behind his glasses and rubbed his eyes, which were beginning to itch. “It feels like I forgot to take my allergy medicine.”
Nino’s heart sank. “Do you want to go back?”
“No, but you might have to put up with me sneezing all over you later.”
When they reached the park gates, Jun came to an abrupt halt, and for a second Nino wondered if he had pushed him too hard.
Jun turned to Nino and yanked off his dark glasses, revealing eyes which were red rimmed but sparkling with sudden excitement. “I see pink!”
“We should go to a pharmacy and get some drops for your eyes,” Nino said worriedly. “This is precisely why I stay indoors, where it's safe.”
“Come.” Jun laughed and grabbed Nino’s hand, seemingly oblivious to the throngs of people around them, as he dragged him along the main path which ran through the centre of the park.
They rounded a corner, and this time they both stopped to stare in wonder at the long avenue of cherry trees covered in a sea of pink blossoms.
The throngs of people were far too interested in enjoying the sight, to take notice of the two masked figures discretely holding hands under the cover of a scarf draped around their wrists.
“I can't believe that this was right under my nose and almost missed it,” Jun’s eyes sparkled as he pulled out his phone and began to snap photos of the foamy petals.
Nino picked up a fallen blossom and twirled it between his fingers, before handing it to Jun. “Sometimes even I enjoy nature,”
They managed to find an empty seat on the far side of the park, which was in a more secluded area, but still with a view of the blossom. Jun, who had visibly relaxed, took a deep breath of the fresh spring air. “Thank you, Nino. I would've missed this if not for your persistence. I love you.”
The romantic moment was spoiled somewhat by the enormously loud sneeze which followed, and the slight wheeze in Jun’s chest as he draped his arm over the back of the seat and stroked Nino’s back.
Nino handed Jun a packet of tissues. “Want to go back to your place? I fear that the park is trying to murder you.”
Jun blew his nose and shook his head. “If you don't mind, I think that I would like to stay here a bit longer.”
“I don't mind at all.” Nino leaned back, enjoying the warmth of Jun’s palm pressing against his back.
Jun looked over at the trees and asked, “Beautiful, isn't it?”
“It certainly is,” Nino murmured, as he watched Jun come back to life.
RATING: G
PAIRING: Matsumoto Jun / Ninomiya Kazunari
SUMMARY: Nino is worried about Jun, who hasn't been returning his calls.
NOTES: This story is set in March 2021.
As the car pulled away from the television studio, Nino checked his phone, but there was still no reply to his text to Jun.
Since the beginning of the hiatus, Jun had gone into what he declared to be a ‘temporary hibernation’, and disappeared from public view. This was understandable, since Jun had been a hollow-eyed, exhausted wreck at the end of the year.
But Nino hadn’t anticipated that Jun would disappear from his life too. He had been unprepared for it to hurt as much as it did. Used to seeing Jun virtually every day, or at least speaking to him, the loss of Jun’s companionship struck deep into his heart.
As he fiddled with his phone and started out the car window, it finally rang, sending his heart racing. But it was Aiba, and still not the person he needed to hear from the most.
“He called me,” Aiba reported with some satisfaction. “Your plan for me to taunt him on Damashii finally paid off.”
“He’s at home?” At least if he knew that, it was a place for Nino to begin.
“Yep. I invited him out for ramen and beer, but he turned me down,” Aiba replied regretfully. “He mumbled some sort of excuse about making a special chicken stock and not being able to leave the house for twenty four hours.”
“Perfect.”
“Good luck Nino. I hope you can get through to him. You two belong back together.”
“As far as I know we never actually broke up,” Nino muttered. “But thanks anyway.”
Xx
The next day, Nino’s barrage of knocks elicited no response from Jun, so he let himself in, using the key which Jun had given him in case of emergency. And if being ignored by your boyfriend for almost three months wasn’t an emergency, then Nino didn’t know what was.
“It’s only me,” he called out as he slid his feet into the fluffy yellow slippers Jun kept in the entryway for his use.
There was no reply, but Jun was definitely in there somewhere. The smell of the essential oils Jun used in his diffuser filled the apartment a musky scent. It was hard to see where he was walking though, as all of the curtains and blinds were closed, leaving him stumbling around in a gloomy half-light despite the fact that it was almost lunchtime.
There was no sign of Jun (or of the chicken stock) in the kitchen, and the spare room which Jun used as an office was empty, which left only the master bedroom. Nino gave himself a shake when he found himself walking on tiptoe and holding his breath as he approached the closed door. He was cross with himself for behaving like an intruder in a place where he had been so many times before. His relationship with Jun had always been a casual, low pressure type of one; they both valued their own space too much to ever contemplate living together. But he had spent enough nights here in Jun’s bed to feel confident that Jun would be pleased to see him.
After taking a deep breath, Nino pushed open the door. “I’m coming in.”
At least the curtains were open in this room, even if only a little. Jun, who was sitting on the floor with his back against the side of the bed, barely looked up at his unexpected guest. “I don’t remember inviting you over.”
The air in the room was stale, even with the aid of an air purifier and the diffuser. Nino strode over and pulled back the curtains, before opening the window wide enough to allow some fresh air to circulate. He dropped down onto the floor next to Jun, pressing a kiss onto the top of his head in passing. He grimaced at the greasy feel of Jun’s hair, which he suspected hadn’t been washed for several days. “Do I really need an official invitation?”
Jun self-consciously touched his hair. “No, but a little bit of advance notice would’ve been appreciated.”
Nino took a look around at the piles of clothes scattered around Jun, obscuring the luxurious deep pile of the carpet. After kicking some sweaters out of the way, Nino wriggled closer and rested his head on Jun’s shoulder. “So, what important business did I interrupt?”
“I’m trying to declutter my life,” Jun replied in a dull tone.
Nino’s stomach gave an uneasy lurch. “And am I part of that clutter? Is this your way of breaking up with me?”
As he held his breath while awaiting Jun’s reply, Nino didn’t know how he would cope if he replied in the affirmative.
“Of course not, unless you would prefer it that way.” Jun kept his eyes fixed on the felt hat that was sitting on his lap as he replied, giving nothing away to Nino. His fingers plucked nervously at the fabric, pulling small pieces of fluff off the surface.
“Don’t be stupid. You know that I love you, even when you force me to say it out loud like you did just now.” Nino tugged the hat out of Jun’s hands and pulled him around to face him. “Jun, look at me and tell me what’s wrong. I’m worried about you, and so are the others.”
“I just feel useless right now.” Jun’s voice was so quiet as to be barely audible, and he spoke in a dull monotone. “I don’t know how to do this, how to not be working twenty hours a day. While we were so busy last year, I thought it would be great to have the chance to catch up on all the little things I didn’t have time for. I had a big long list of all of the things I wanted to do, and I was excited about ticking them off. But for the first couple of weeks, all I did was sleep, and even now I sleep until almost lunchtime, watch some television and then go to bed early.”
“Let’s face it, you were, and probably still are, suffering from serious sleep deprivation. After all of the hours you put in last year, you deserve as much rest as possible. I have this mental picture of you in bed, laid out like Sleeping Beauty sleeping for an entire year. I think the dress would definitely suit you,” Nino interjected with a grin, hoping to cheer Jun up with a little teasing.
The glare which Jun gave him in reply sparked a tiny ember of hope in Nino’s chest, but was immediately extinguished by the return Jun’s eerily blank facial expression which followed.
Jun scrambled to his feet, and began stuffing the discarded clothing into collection bags from a charity shop, avoiding Nino’s eyes at all costs as he continued to speak in a voice which sounded rusty from disuse. “I feel so useless. I just sit here all day doing nothing. I can’t even remember the last time I went outside. I get dressed and pick up my keys, and sometimes I even get my shoes on. But then I think that it is too cold, or too wet, or that nobody will want to meet up with me anyway, so I take my shoes off again and go back to bed.”
It took Nino a moment to haul himself up off the floor, wincing as his back gave a twang. He touched Jun lightly on the shoulder, warning him before he pressed himself against his back and wrapped his arms tightly around Jun’s waist. “Why didn’t you say anything about this before now?”
“The three of you are all so busy with your variety shows, commercials, magazine shoots, and Sho’s new drama. I didn’t want to bother you.” Jun hid his face behind a striped sweater with frayed cuffs.
“Stupid man. None of those things are more important than you,” Nino said fiercely. “Don’t force me to tell you that I love you twice in one day; I will never live it down.”
Jun’s shoulders began to shake, and Nino feared that he was crying, but when Jun twisted around in his embrace and Nino removed the sweater which was concealing his expression, he could see that although his eyes were suspiciously shiny, he was actually laughing.
“If I’d known that’s what it takes for that to happen, then I should’ve had a meltdown years ago.”
Nino sighed with relief as Jun bestowed one of his luminous smiles on him; his favourite one which made Jun’s eyes almost disappear. “Trust you to be the only human in existence to not take pleasure in sitting around like a potato for a couple of months and do nothing. You are living my own personal dream, and then you want to go and ruin it by being busy. You seem to forget that is only temporary, and that soon filming for your movie will begin, and then you will be back on the promotional merry-go-round of magazine interviews and television guest appearances.”
“Maybe I need someone who is an expert at being a potato to show me how it’s done?”
The thought of joining Jun in his hibernation, even if only for one day, was extremely tempting. What could be better than spending time cuddling with Jun on the couch? But Nino knew that it wouldn’t help Jun to pull out of his slump. Instead, he took a deep breath and suggested something unthinkable.
“If you ever tell anyone that this was my idea, I will kill you where you stand, but let’s go outside and get some fresh air.”
Xx
Nino glanced over at Jun who was walking slowly along beside him, dragging his feet slightly. “Aren’t you glad you came with me?”
Behind his mask, hat, and dark glasses, it was hard to read Jun’s expression, but despite his nod of agreement, Jun still looked uncomfortable to be outdoors.
It had taken almost three hours before Nino had managed to get Jun out of the apartment. First Jun had insisted on taking a shower and washing his hair, followed by his complicated skin care routine and the application of sunscreen. And then he had insisted on making them lunch, which Nino hadn’t really wanted, especially since it was both vegan and gluten free, but Jun had insisted that it would be good for him. To be fair, it had been rather tasty, even though Nino knew that it was offered to him more as a delaying tactic. When Jun moved the same piece of tofu from one side of his plate to the other three times without actually putting it in his mouth, Nino snatched up both of their plates and tossed them into the dishwasher after scraping Jun’s leftovers into a container.
Jun’s fingers had trembled as he tied the laces on his shoes, leading to Nino kneeling down and tying them into firm knots for him. The tension emanating from Jun’s body had been plain, as he stepped to the door and gripped the handle. Jun’s hand felt icy as Nino placed his hand over it and gave a gentle squeeze as he swung the door open and hesitated on the threshold.
Nino only let go when they emerged into the afternoon sunshine and began their short walk to the nearest park.
“It feels like spring,” Jun said softly as he loosened the scarf he’d insisted on wearing, despite Nino’s advice. “The last time I was outside it was winter.”
Nino brushed his fingers lightly against Jun’s. “And how does it feel?”
Jun slid a finger behind his glasses and rubbed his eyes, which were beginning to itch. “It feels like I forgot to take my allergy medicine.”
Nino’s heart sank. “Do you want to go back?”
“No, but you might have to put up with me sneezing all over you later.”
When they reached the park gates, Jun came to an abrupt halt, and for a second Nino wondered if he had pushed him too hard.
Jun turned to Nino and yanked off his dark glasses, revealing eyes which were red rimmed but sparkling with sudden excitement. “I see pink!”
“We should go to a pharmacy and get some drops for your eyes,” Nino said worriedly. “This is precisely why I stay indoors, where it's safe.”
“Come.” Jun laughed and grabbed Nino’s hand, seemingly oblivious to the throngs of people around them, as he dragged him along the main path which ran through the centre of the park.
They rounded a corner, and this time they both stopped to stare in wonder at the long avenue of cherry trees covered in a sea of pink blossoms.
The throngs of people were far too interested in enjoying the sight, to take notice of the two masked figures discretely holding hands under the cover of a scarf draped around their wrists.
“I can't believe that this was right under my nose and almost missed it,” Jun’s eyes sparkled as he pulled out his phone and began to snap photos of the foamy petals.
Nino picked up a fallen blossom and twirled it between his fingers, before handing it to Jun. “Sometimes even I enjoy nature,”
They managed to find an empty seat on the far side of the park, which was in a more secluded area, but still with a view of the blossom. Jun, who had visibly relaxed, took a deep breath of the fresh spring air. “Thank you, Nino. I would've missed this if not for your persistence. I love you.”
The romantic moment was spoiled somewhat by the enormously loud sneeze which followed, and the slight wheeze in Jun’s chest as he draped his arm over the back of the seat and stroked Nino’s back.
Nino handed Jun a packet of tissues. “Want to go back to your place? I fear that the park is trying to murder you.”
Jun blew his nose and shook his head. “If you don't mind, I think that I would like to stay here a bit longer.”
“I don't mind at all.” Nino leaned back, enjoying the warmth of Jun’s palm pressing against his back.
Jun looked over at the trees and asked, “Beautiful, isn't it?”
“It certainly is,” Nino murmured, as he watched Jun come back to life.
